2004-08-22 - 2:15 p.m.

breathe in...relax...

After Friday's little interaction with the department, and two evenings where my friends cancelled, I decided that my life was beginning to resemble that of a shut-in...This first required a day of self-wallowing depression (which was yesterday - perfect day for it: grey miserable thunderstorms the entire day). Followed by immediate ACTION.

Today I've decided to become relaxed. But I'm not just going to relax, I'm going to be on the CUTTING EDGE of relaxation. The best relaxer in the class.

It helps that today the temperatures have dropped 10 degrees and the sun is shining and there is not a trace of humidity in the air.

It also helps that I've also joined a major NYC health club for women. And I've hired a personal trainer - her name is Mimi. Mimi is about half my size and could probably bench press me...I'm a little bit frightened of her - but this is counter to the theme of relaxation, so I'm going to just go forward and let her know when she's scaring me...

Today I also took my *very first* yoga class, from a woman who actually has no bones in her body and is made of elastic. I knew I was in trouble when the very first position was a challenge...but as the course progressed, that position really did get easier and easier (relative to the other things we then tried...). K said the one time he tried Yoga he fell asleep. I'm not sure how that's possible. I'll never be Yoga Gumby, but I'm hoping that the regular stretching will relieve some of the stress that is bound to build up over the coming weeks.

Anyway, I finally feel as if, instead of sitting around and letting the stress overwhelm me, I've taken positive action. Maybe the Blue Meanies really are beginning to depart now, and I'm ready to face life again. Maybe NY wasn't a mistake after all - still withholding judgement.................