2007-04-27 - 9:05 a.m.

..yes, I'm still complaining about the state of things at my job....

It's raining again today...ugh. and I am very tired.

I am rather enjoying my work in my new office. I've seen more of my colleagues in two days than I have in an entire year. Sadly, rather than making me feel good, it emphasizes that nine months of my time have been wasted at this institution. I mean, it really feels as if I am starting NOW.

So, my psyche is still not quite ready to abandon my bad feelings about this. Yesterday a colleague commented with a smile that my classical music was 'dominating' the hallway. I felt terrible, even though my door was closed, and the music was playing at 1/3 volume, and it was 7pm. I replied with a smile and said, "You'll have to forgive me, I've been working on a hallway devoid of people for the last nine months. I'm not used to people hearing anything." And then we went on to talk about students and reviewing papers.

When I have brought up my frustration, I feel a bit like I'm working with the "Stepford Wives." Everyone seems afraid to say anything negative to anyone of importance. There is plenty of "oh that's terrible" but logical action is a rarity. A decision to change a lock on a door sat "in committee" for three months, and still wasn't decided even when major damage was done. Now that my boxes were found, people seem to think that all is right with the world - with little recognition of the eight months of my time that were wasted because of their incompetent movers. Not surprisingly, it is hard for me to let go this easily. In my comparisons of institutes of higher learning in four countries, security has always been a priority. Just not here.

There is a year-end report that goes to the university and government in September. My colleague in another department said that this was her mechanism for making the lumps in the system known. I will be doing the same. Do I think it will make a difference? Well, if my institute is indicative of the larger system, the answer is clearly no. But the problems will be documented and I will make sure that the report will have a prominent position in my tenure file when the time comes, if the time ever comes.

And now hopefully I can focus on something else for a change...