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2008-02-06 - 1:04 p.m.

...the best advice...

As a reflection on the past couple of weeks, I think I've discovered the best advice that I've gotten about dealing with a newborn:

ADVICE #1
DON'T DROP THE BABY ON ITS HEAD.

This advice came from a close family friend and I choose it as the best advice I've gotten, because so far no one has contradicted it. In fact, everyone seems to agree that dropping a baby on its head is, indeed, basically, a bad idea. So the advice has been raised in my esteem, from a rather obvious humorous statement to a higher level of poignancy: which is that everyone will tell you something different, and that all of these bits of advice may result in lots of unnecessary worry. But pretty much, it's pretty safe to avoid dropping your baby on its head at all costs.

Advice #2:
KEEP COOL AND QUIET AND DON'T GET NERVOUS AT EACH WORD FROM DOCTORS.

This advice was emailed to me from the secretary from my former research group in east germany - and is a more direct way of stating advice #1. She sent such a lovely email, and the basic message was not to worry if you don't follow a pattern. You and your baby will find your own way. The email was particularly sweet because this woman is otherwise an extremely conventional person - and here she was writing to me for the first time and telling me to ignore convention. I loved it. Especially because I have definitely experienced the tension between various "camps" or "philosophies" of what is the "right way" of feeding and raising a newborn. Part of the learning experience of the first three weeks is gaining the confidence to know when to ditch the advisers and to trust yourself.

Susi has yet another doctor's appt tomorrow and might be sent to a specialist about her slow weight gain. I imagine that they will keep seeing that she is normal in every other way.

And I will continue to keep cool, and avoid dropping little Susi on her head at all costs.

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