2008-02-21 - 5:57 p.m.

...another day...

I've had two meetings with students and a short visit with one of the department secretary in the past three days - signs that I am still a part of the outside world. All three were really productive - I have darned good students! But at the same time, the meetings have reinforced an inner sense of nervousness. That I am falling behind, losing an edge, or am just not swift enough to pull this all off. In fact, I felt all of this before pregnancy and baby, and now I've chosen a path that moves me further from that edge. Yikes. But this is a tired theme. Almost every academic I know feels inadequate, especially every female academic. And every academic mother has dealt with this particular strain of the inadequacy bug. Nothing left to do but plug my nose and dive in.

Susi has been inconsolable today. She finally discovered that she has LUNGS about five days ago, and started asserting her vocal discontent when food was not delivered within a thirty-second time frame. Today, nothing has gone right for the poor little worm, which means that mama and papa have spent the day in a tag-team effort to console her, once all of the standard needs have certainly been met. Poor little kid.