2009-02-12 - 2:08 p.m.

...I think this must mean that I need to go a day without having baby snot on my shoulder....

OK, I had this totally bizarro world dream last night where I was living on an island off the coast of BC. A really REEALLY SMALL island - kind of like the one on Gilligan's Island only smaller. Like, really small. More like a floating cave than an island. No trees, just a cave and a shack.

Enough about the island. Anyway, there were a few of us on the island, but we kept screaming and disappearing. As in, BLALALLAALAAH! and then all the rest of us would find was a heap of bones where a person used to be. Hate it when that happens.

So here I am on this island of people who are rapidly disappearing, when I suddenly realize that there is a secret panel in the back wall of the shack, and little tiny hole through which someone might be spying on us.

I sneakily decide to walk around to the back of the shack, and look in the back window. And THAT'S when I see the Evil Scientist (dressed in safari khaki - don't know why I remember these details). The Evil Scientist guy is building a baby. And it looks JUST like a baby! But I can tell that it isn't. It's actually a baby robot with a very very evil mind program. It looks a tiny bit like a little female Chuckie, in fact, but with red curly hair.

So then I realize that it's the baby robot toddler who is killing us all. The Evil Scientist guy (and his trusty assistant) release the baby robot toddler out of the back of the shack, and she sees me. I have to pretend that I don't know that she's actually a baby robot toddler intent on killing us. So I take her hand and start to walk her back around to the front of the cave, only when I take her hand, I see that it is wet. huh.

I get to the front of the cave and shack and send her off to play with two other people (in retrospect, why would I do this, given that I'm supposedly the only one who knows that this is an evil robotic serial-killing baby toddler? important question given how realistic the rest of the dream is..)

So then I notice that my right hand - the one that was holding the evil robot baby toddler's hand - is starting to burn. And THAT's when I realize how the baby is killing us! She is killing us by spitting and snotting a horrible horrible killer acidic spitty snot on us! This stuff is soooo acidic that it EATS OUR FLESH!!!

Just when I realize this, I hear, BLALALLAALAAH! right behind me, and I realize that OH NO I'M TOO LATE! the baby robot has killed the two other people on the island and they are now just a pile of bones!!!!!

So I do the only thing that I can do. I jump off the island and I plan to swim to Victoria. But the Evil Baby Toddler Robot knows that I know. And she jumps in the water and starts to follow me. Only now, she knows that I know...so there's no need to be sweet and innocent - suddenly her FACE - OH MY GOD! HER FACE - it looks like a cross between Shirley Temple, Chuckie, and a man-eating pyranha!!!

She catches up to me, and I push her head under the water, trying to drown the robot. And then I realize that I'm in a shipping lane. And all of these boats are sailing past (yes, sailing. I guess this all took place back when shipping lanes were full of cargo ships that traveled by WIND). And all of these sail boats are watching me - this horrible horrible person - pushing this cute little baby's head under the water.

And then I woke up.

no pressure there.