2009-11-17 - 9:10 p.m.

...eating crow instead of dinner...

This evening, I opened my big mouth and said something horribly, horribly unprofessional about a colleague. After realizing what I said, I tried to correct the mistake. And dug myself deeper...and deeper.

It was a misunderstanding - I can honestly say that I meant well. I really wanted to say something positive, but in fact by using the wrong word I wound up doing the exact opposite. And then I immediately saw how what I said was so deeply WRONG and just hurtful. and I did this in front of other people. and there was no going back.

It was just all all wrong. I'm so horribly embarrassed and too ashamed to even write what I said.

Once we were alone, I immediately apologized and told the colleague how I embarrassed I was now that I saw how what I said was so wrong and out of place. But the colleague was deeply offended. disappointed. and very angry at me. And there's no taking back the words.

I came home and cried and cried - so angry at myself for my own stupidity. I think that I will be hiding from people tomorrow.