2005-05-18 - 4:33 p.m.

...sense of humor failure...

I've just kicked the irritator out of my office because she wound me into a complete rage. I remained as controlled as I possibly could and said, "I don't believe that this conversation is helping. We have discussed this all several times before, and I have a great deal of work to accomplish. I think we should end this conversation now." And yet she remained in my office and continued to ramble on in surprise, "I am sorry that I am making you so angry." This comment did not help the situation, but in fact drove the temperature of my blood just a little bit higher....

I knew she needed to leave because I was dangerously close to telling her what I really thought of her incessant complaining about a non-negotiable syllabus, and projection of her problems onto my teaching and constant lack of comprehension of rules that I have repeated multiple times in multiple places, her repetition of EVERY conversation thousands of times - her need for me to UNDERSTAND her. WHY ME???

I stole a drink from Mr. Gold's cupboard, and raged for another half-hour before returning to my office. I'm listening to Elle Fitzgerald and trying very hard to recuperate the concentration I had before going ballistic. I suppose it is good that I didn't rage. In my fantasy world it would have felt sooooo goood.