2005-05-18 - 12:47 a.m.

...she gives good phone....

Tonight my friend Jeff called just to chat. We've been talking on the phone very regularly this Spring and it has been a bit of lifeline for me. Otherwise my life has been an exercise in eating and sleeping - Jeff makes me laugh, mostly because something ridiculous and insane happens when we are together. So he has been my break from the mundane.

Jeff has started seeing a new woman in the past few weeks. My first thought was, "great. there goes the male friend." Most men I know are unable to maintain friendships with women once they become involved with a new person. We may soon face this fate, but I was pleasantly surprised to get a long phone call from Jeff this evening.

We talked about everything (and new developments) as usual. I am squelching my maternal protection instincts and stifling any hint of irrational jealousy that might pop out. Jeff really deserves a good relationship with a warm and caring person, and so far this woman sounds terrific. And Jeff sounds both petrified and happy.

Not surprisingly our telephone conversation had a typical bizarre event. Halfway through our talk, Jeff says, "all of a sudden you sound like someone has pulled a huge fuzzy HAT over your whole body."

??

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your voice sounds extremely strange."

I started inspecting the phone for any button that I might have pushed to create a muffled body-stuffed-in-hat sound...didn't find one.

I picked up the other telephone and had some strange double-phone-in-ear voice-over experiences, but I couldn't solve the problem.

I went into the kitchen and searched the console for some kind of "on off" switch that might indicate what the problem is...nothing.

Finally I looked down and saw a big glob of plain yoghurt that had fallen off my spoon directly INTO the telephone microphone. I promptly sucked the yoghurt out of the phone.

Jeff immediately replied, "hey, that's much better. What did you do?" Sheepishly, I explained...."I sucked yogurt out of the microphone..."

And now Jeff has an image of teranika roaming the house searching for a technical problem, holding a telephone receiver with a GIGANTIC GLOB of white yogurt on it. (It wasn't that big.) In any case, it was one of those moments where you probably had to be there - but it was hysterical to us - I was laughing so hard my sides ached. You see? a lifeline.