2006-04-12 - 5:30 p.m.
...and I was just getting used to you...
It's Wednesday and the first day of our Spring Break, and I feel like I am fully exhaling for the first time in over a year.
Yesterday, I announced to my department that I am resigning, and will take a position in Canada in the fall. This decision has remained unresolved for over a year, and now that it is finally out in the open, I feel as though a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
I was prepared for a rather unpleasant experience, given my rocky relationship with certain of our department heads. But, he was surprisingly calm and professional. He expressed shock, he wished me congratulations, and stated, "and I was just getting used to you."
This comment reminds me of an ex-boyfriend who dumped me and explained to me over a glass of wine years later (when he was trying to get me into bed again), "You are one woman I almost could have fallen in love with."
Lines like this are so beautiful.
I was touched by the kindness and professionalism of the reactions of my colleagues. They all told me that the offer was one that I could not pass up - they appreciated the hardships that I had faced as a member of this department. Everyone seemed to understand my need to leave, and at the same time they expressed regret that I would be leaving. I just hope that the sentiment remains positive.
I was most impressed by one of my colleagues who provided me with the perfect strategy for approaching the higher-ups. My pending grants of over $1mill indicate my committment to this department. Her idea was that I ask to keep some kind of appointment here, so that the money could continue to come through this department. A very wise strategy, given that $$ generally make administrators very happy...Anyway, my hope is that this will help protect me and my limited resources until I leave.
Apart from this, it has been a turbulent week here. In addition to my departure, our department is in the midst of another faculty search. This is the third I've experienced here, and I've seen that it always brings out the worst in people. There are several differing visions about this department, and tempers get extremely heated. I am rather happy that I am now sitting in a more neutral position, instead of being embroiled in the debate myself.
And now that my mind is a bit relieved..I can focus on important things - like tonight's trip to the biergarten.
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...they are just words, Suzi... - 2011-08-29