2006-11-24 - 2:29 p.m.

..first second thoughts..

Yesterday was the first day that I allowed myself to question whether or not moving here was a good idea. This flicker of an idea developed into a full-blown 'second thought' this morning as I walked toward the sky train in the icy cold, pouring rain. That thought was making itself comfortable by the time I pulled off my gloves to call K and remind him to put a bucket under the continuing leak in our kitchen ceiling, and when I was leaving a note for the refridgerator delivery guys for the third time... That second thought had pretty much dug itself in when I walked past my lab door and found it standing open AGAIN.

I keep reminding myself that I had lots of second, third, and fourth thoughts during my first year in Germany - the year my father died. Indeed, those were harder times than now. In fact, I wanted nothing better than to get out of there on several occasions. And so I continue to remind myself of those times - and the fact that I came to love the place so dearly in spite of them. It helps me to encourage today's first second thoughts to finish up their espressos and put their coats back on while I show them the door. It's too soon for them to move in.