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2007-10-05 - 3:24 p.m.

..humor regained...preggo sleep, perchance, to dream....

I went to work on Thursday morning with sense-of-humor collapse, and the staff in my department immediately put me in a sense-of-humor recovery ward. It was sooo nice.

First of all, there is nothing more soothing than camaraderie against a common evil: building contractors. And it really is difficult to stay blindingly angry when the person next to you is laughing her a** off at the hilarity of this absurdity. And finally, the department manager came in and asked if there was anything at all she could do - and she came up with a couple of solutions so that she could take over responsibility dealing with the inane people for me.

She said, "Don't forget that we really are YOUR staff. We are here to help you. Just ASK." I had to cry there for a minute...and then I gave them both hugs. True, I'm not used to having STAFF - and staff who are just amazing sweethearts. I will be sure to take them out for lunch again close to Christmastime. They have been REALLY good to me.

I also went to talk to the director, who, rather than asking, "what can I do for you?" asked, "How are you feeling? How are things going?" Another thing to put you in a more positive mood, because his questions were genuine. We chatted a bit about my course and my health, and then I said, "I did not come in here to talk about acid sinks or contractors. In fact, I've vowed not to address the subject until next week." He smiled. Instead we had a very good discussion about some department planning - which was what I had wanted to talk about in the first place. He's another good egg. Nothing like being around a carton of good eggs to make you feel...less scrambled. (HA!)

It's now Friday afternoon. I'm rather tired, and so glad that the week is "over." "Over" is in quotes because I have some 300 pages of essays to grade, along with two paper reviews for this weekend. But the sun is out, and I am taking a few minutes to breathe in the interim.


Actually, I had my first appointment with the specialist regarding my fibroid tumors. Overall I've come away feeling positive, even though the situation is not ideal.

Given the fact that I have five (benign) tumors - three of which are the size of racquetballs - I have a couple of added risks. First of all, my womb is stretched about one month larger than normal to accommodate the tumors (I'm at 25 weeks but look like I'm 29 weeks). Because of this stretching, I'm likely to experience greater than normal pain (like, NOW) during growth spurts. Also as the fibroids grow, they may cut off their own blood supply and begin to disintegrate. Although this doesn't HAVE to happen, if it does it can be excruciatingly painful and may mean going on morphine. It may also force me into pre-term labor. And finally, the fibroids increase the risk of hemorrhaging during birth, and as a result I will be put on an IV early on during labor and administered oxytocin immediately after the baby is born, to speed up post-delivery phases.

So, all that sounds a bit dark. But if you look closely, you'll see that it's a bunch of 'ifs' and possibilities. You'll also notice that I'm now seeing two doctors, both of whom will be monitoring the birth process while I'm at the hospital. And finally, you'll see that every consequence is a known known - in other words, this is not such an uncommon and risky thing that no one's ever heard of it, and I feel like I'm being taken care of / monitored.

The other good news is that one of the big tumors has actually shifted well out of the birth canal - although I will continue to be monitored, this is very good news in terms of proceeding with a normal birth. And the final good news is that the little wiggler is exceedingly strong - a whopper of a heartbeat. When we first saw her on the ultrasound, she was posed in her best Montgomery Burns "exxxcellent" position. This time she had both arms over her head like a ballerina (or spring diver, depending...). K's assessment is that we are breeding a REAL troublemaker....

So now I have another FOUR doc appts in the coming month, including the dreaded sugar test that knocked poor cloudy cold....that's a lot of peeing into cups, if you ask me.
There are a lot of indignities throughout this process, so much so that I had the whopper of all "feeling stupid and vulnerable" dreams last night. I dreamt that my next pregnancy doctor's appointment was for the "27th week enima test." For this one I was placed naked on a cold metal tray and wheeled into a large room full of people dressed like medical technicians. A male nurse then proceeded to administer the hose.... gross. And while I'll spare all of the details, this dream went ON and ON. Oy. No anxiety there. I'd like to have the sex dreams back, please?

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