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2007-12-17 - 8:52 p.m.

...slacking....and turning inward...

I was overly busy yesterday and a class-A slacker today. Yesterday K and I attacked THE LIST - which is a weekly tally of the things that we need to do. I've been preparing a weekly LIST since about mid-October, and K and I have diligently gone to stores, called around, reorganized, cleaned, driven... all in the name of making space for a third little person.

We didn't get that far through THE LIST this weekend. I think we are both tired of having our weekends programmed this way. Also, I'm really.. getting..... sloooww. And inept as well. It's rather frustrating not to be able to do simple things anymore. As I've explained to friends at work, I'm dropping things all the time. And now, when I drop a 2-dollar coin, I seriously question whether it is worth the 2-dollars to bend down and pick the damned thing up again.

So I took a holiday today. I lay on the sofa reading through the last H. Potter book. I'm not finished yet, but I'm getting there. And then K and I fixed dinner together, and now I'll probably deal with some laundry before climbing back into bed with another few chapters and a cup of tea. There are things that are nagging at me - chores that I must do.... but ugh, just not today.

Tomorrow is another doctor's appointment - this one with the anesthetist at the hospital. K also asked if he had to attend this one, too. I refrained from skewering him. But only barely. I'm not certain what happens at a meeting with an anesthetist - I'm guessing this is to prepare me for what happens in the case that my additional risks of hemorrhaging during the birth become a reality. Okay, yeah, it does raise my anxiety level just a little bit to be dealing with the dudes who put you under. But I think I will take a few minutes this evening to lie back and relax and allow my brain to realize that precautions are better than emergencies.

Books and resources tell me that this time in pregnancy (36 weeks, oy), is when women start to turn "inward." That they just need to take the time to focus and think about things - which of course causes them to forget other things (been there done that), or neglect other things (here here, doing that...). Today it was kind of nice to just STOP.

So far relaxation and humor have been quite a good approaches for me. On Saturday the mean yoga instructor took me aside afterwards and said that she was really impressed that I keep coming to class, and that I have been able to approach pain/discomfort with humor. It was a very nice thing for her to say. I, of course, would prefer NOT to have pain and discomfort (duh)... but I think I understood what she meant. Rather than quitting the class I have just been very honest with her and let her know what exercises haven't been working for me. I still think that she pushes the class too hard... but communicating with her has been helpful.

Actually, it made me reflect about the power of humor. I remember when two of my friends were married about five years ago. We made a wedding video for them. When asked if there was one thing that we wished for them, I wished that they always keep their sense of humor about life. A few months ago someone asked me a similar question about what I wished for my child. There are many obvious answers to this question: health, happiness, safety, prosperity, a beautiful mind... but the one thing that I wanted beyond that obvious mix of good things was humor. If K and I can give our child one thing, I hope it is the strength that laughter gives you to enjoy good times and to deal with challenges.

And so today when I was thinking anxiously about dealing with hospitals, high risk groups, words like "hemorrhage" and anaesthetists, I was thinking: humor. If at all possible, Teranika, don't forget to pack your humor...

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