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2008-01-03 - 9:16 a.m.

...one minute and 33 seconds...

The biggest news of yesterday was that my parents got hitched. They went to the courthouse and performed a one-minute-and-33-second ceremony. Faster than John Cage. Faster than OUR ceremony. They beat us by a full length on that one! They were 21st in line, but managed to get in after a mere 40-minute wait. It sounds as though the courthouse was a pretty festive place, too - a local fireman was getting married, and his buddies brought in some famous St.L. "slyders" from this very well known local establishment, once made somewhat famous by this rather steamy 1990 movie starring Susan Sarandon. Anyway, the firemen passed the little jewels of burger goodness around the whole courthouse. Strangely enough, the only person who partook was my mother (perhaps because the other less-euphemistic terms by which 'slyders' are more commonly known are 'belly bombers' and 'rectum rockets'... ahem). Anyway, it sounds as though they had a good time - and one belly bomber was not enough to derail my mother's stomach of iron.

We called and talked to both of them, and decided that we have to come up with a new name for my stepfather, who has previously signed all of his missives as "Mom's Boyfriend." For their wedding I sent them carbon credits for their impending dream trip to Australia. On their offset certificate, I suggested that his new name be, "Guy Formerly Known As Mom's Boyfriend." I'm still working on a symbol for him. Artistic suggestions welcome.

It sounds like they also had a wonderful post-'ding party, complete with pizza and beer, my brother, sister-in-law, niece, my uncle and aunt, their closest family friends, and the next door neighbors. I think it was the kind of celebration that my mother and GFKAMB wanted.

I was pleased because I got a chance to talk to GFKAMB. We rarely talk on the phone because he wears hearing aids, and it is kind of difficult for him to carry on a conversation. But this was a special occasion. I really love GFKAMB. He's piss-n-vinegar, just like my mother, and he's one of the smartest and most generous people I know. Also like my mom.

I also accomplished three work-related tasks yesterday. I'm impressed with myself. I also went to the doctor, walked to yoga, fixed dinner, and did the dishes. I feel downright heroic.

**

I didn't have a chance to talk about our evening on New Year's Day - but it feels like K and I have really happened into some people with whom we feel completely relaxed: Micha and her partner. We got a chance to spend an evening at their place, and just had a great time sitting around with them and their pets. I never knew that K was a such a pet-whisperer - all three of their animals (a 9-year-old German shepherd, a neurotic manx, and a 2000-year-old toothless, clawless Abyssinian) all climbed onto him. We are planning to see them (Micha and George) again sometime this weekend. They are down-to-earth people.

After yoga yesterday, Micha got a chance to talk, and Micha insisted that she get a telephone call once the Big Push begins - she wants to be there. I think it really made an impression on her that I sat with her through her three-hour glucose starve-n-poke horror test. And now K and I have realized that they live just about a mile's walk from our house - which means we have friends in the 'hood. Definitely a step in the right direction.

AND for those not deterred by medical details:

The doctor took note of the elephantine features below my knees, because my blood pressure climbed a little bit yesterday. But everything else seems perfectly fine, but I am finally being advised to reduce salt intake. I put on what feels like a huge amount of weight in two weeks - nearly eight pounds - but both doctors think it's all fluid (especially after seeing the size of my appendages).

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