2008-01-19 - 4:11 a.m.
...in Germany the trains run on time...
We had read a lot (teranika did. I got the executive summary: "read these three pages". Very practical), got a lot of advice and experience (teranika did, my friends who have children mostly said "it will be a lot of work but it is also great fun". Most of their children are older already) and got a lot of nesting accomplished (we both did, I even bought a jigsaw for all the woodwork involved!). Therefore, we are somewhat prepared and ready for the adventure, I thought.
Wrong. The minute things were getting serious everything started spinning in my head. Seeing your loved one going through a lot of pain and being sleep deprived does not really help getting a clear mind again. Venti Latte Triple Shot very quickly became my friend, all you need to keep the becoming father awake for another round.
The good news is that things were quickly falling into place because the Health Care in British Cannabis provides an outstanding hospital exclusively for women. The atmosphere is truly overwhelming: every single step is explained in great detail but things happen quickly when immediate action is required. And people leave you alone just when you need it. Maybe a noteworthy footnote: in the operating room doctors seem to be more concerned about the fathers than they are about the main protagonists. They know what to do with the women and babies. Fathers however faint, fall and crack their head open on the equipment. Note to self: Don't do that in a women's hospital without an ER because then they have to take you to a different hospital (so I was told). Did they just want to scare me? Although I would be the perfect target group for such a tactic (in general I am not overly happy to see blood. And putting it like this qualifies for the understatement of the year) I didn't mind the situation at all. I was simply too tired. When they noticed that I did not cause any such complications they started yelling at me to get the camera out for taking photos. The medical profession is a strange one.
What they do NOT tell you is that there is no need to call the second night a night. And you are beginning to wonder if Susi's solid three hour nap the afternoon before was indeed as peaceful and necessary as you remember it. Irrelevant thought. In the first weeks anything goes, don't try and start scheduling. Read: You lose.
I am writing this with little Susi on my lap. She is tucked in a blanket, wearing clothing and socks from AJ (Harriet Spy's son) in which she looks adorable. Thank you SO much! The socks are TINY and she keeps LOSING them. I am trying to keep her asleep so that after 60 hours teranika finally can get more than 30 minutes of consecutive sleep. A million thoughts are crossing my mind. I am not ready for this responsibility. She will create a lot of work for us. She will rely on us. She will want a good education. That will ruin us. I want to provide the best possible everything for her. She won't be grateful. She will ruin my jigsaw. Eventually she will grow up and then Sex, Drugs and Rock'n' Roll will look like a brilliant idea to her. She will bring home a boyfriend! And I don't want to miss a single minute of it.
But maybe I should stop worrying until she is 52 centimeters tall.
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...they are just words, Suzi... - 2011-08-29