2009-03-22 - 8:55 p.m.
...when you know just how meaningless the term 'friend' is on fb...
I just got a fb notification from my stepmother, asking me to be her friend.
This is just bizarre. We've always been fairly polite towards each other, but basically this woman hasn't wanted to have anything to do with me for my entire life. I think that the feeling is kind of mutual. What could she possibly want to share with me?? There is a lot of old history that I would rather not remember. A lingering bitterness about how she behaved towards me and my brother when my father died. Even active attempts to ensure that we were entirely disinherited.
I always try to think that in retrospect I must have imagined some of those things that happened and were said. Ick - I'm remembering. STOP STOP. Now I am mentally sticking my fingers in my ears and loudly singing LA LA LA LA LA so that I don't have to remember unpleasantness.
The wrinkle in this whole situation is that she is the mother of my half-brother. Finally through fb, I've gotten a chance to know him - something that never happened when he was young. It's been a real gift having the opportunity to learn about him now that he's a full-fledged adult of 20.
So, as I think more about this whole step-mother thing, I know exactly the relationship I'd like to maintain with her. I'm perfectly happy chatting away with my baby half-brother and occasionally asking, "how's your mom?" then reading a few lines, and reflexively saying "that's nice, tell I say hi" and leaving it at that.
But this can no longer happen - she's put the friend request out there. If I ignore it, he'll know. And he really loves his mom. In fact, he probably suggested that we be friends. ugh. And I'm really happy avoiding the "actually I really don't LIKE your mom" conversation. And so, as the sand slips through the hourglass, so are the days of fb. I'll accept my stepmother's friend request and therefore contribute to the outrageous inflation rate of fb friend currency.
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...they are just words, Suzi... - 2011-08-29