2008-08-13 - 4:13 p.m.

...back to the stressful life., and finding childcare..

We are back in Vancouver, and it did not take long for the relaxation to be replaced with stress. On the plane, I started to list all of the things that I had left behind. And then I added to that list the new tasks that lie ahead.

On the top of that list was the distinct absence of daycare starting next Monday. We are still on a waiting list for childcare up at Mountain. Apparently the list for infant care is a year and a half long, because it now looks as though we will not get care for another few months. There are 8 people in front of us, and no new spots opened up. Thus the panic.

I sent an email to one of our friends who had suggested a nanny share, and it looked as though this was going to be a really good and inexpensive solution. At $5/hr (because of the share) the price was REALLY good. But then, the compromises started adding up. We would have to drive to and from their house everyday (2 hours of car commuting added to my already 2-hour public transportation commute). Susi would have to use their daughter's crib. We can bring Susi's playmat, but there is no room for any other walker or highchair or playpen. They want us to use their diaper system instead of our cloth diapers, which means another financial investment. We need to bring all of our own food. Their hours do not match our hours.

As I thought more about the fall, I started snapping at K for every little thing. And then, I stopped to take stock. I tried to evaluate whether my uncertainty with this situation was simply the uncertainty of handing my baby off to a new place, or if this bad feeling was a result of too many compromises. I've decided that it is probably a little bit of both, but mostly the latter. Because I didn't feel nearly as uncomfortable with leaving my daughter up at Mountain U, where I would be within walking distance of her childcare.

I finally told K what I was thinking and feeling. He agreed that we needed to be sure that we were choosing something that was best for us, and not something that would help our friends.

K and I began an all-out search of the fabulous cra1gs1ist for possible options. I have been scanning the list o' craig for a month ... and the number of ads claiming "nanny needed" has escalated...I was not confident. But within minutes, K had turned up three brand new ads that looked quite appealing.

We turned up three potential candidates along with an expensive nanny service that we might use in a pinch. The candidates included (a) the Peninsula U. student, (b) the Vegan, and (c) the Mexican doctor. We interviewed our first choice (the Peninsula U student) this morning, and both of us immediately liked her.

I haven't heard word one from the Mexican doctor, but I've been in regular contact with the Vegan, who also sounds very cool. I've tried to get her to move up her interview to today, but I haven't heard back from her. I'd like to give her a chance, but I think I tend to favor that whole saying about the bird in hand....

After meeting the student, I feel much better. She is much more expensive, and for fewer days. But I have peace of mind, which is ultimately worth everything.

Now I have to figure out a graceful way to tell my friend that I've changed my mind about sharing a nanny...