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2008-05-02 - 11:11 a.m.

...follow up on the week...

What an exciting week this has been.

I finally recovered from the massage that I got at Whistler. Now, call me crazy, but personally I don't feel that one should need to RECOVER from a massage. I don't know what that guy did (apart from talk about himself an awful lot while poking holes in me), but I was REALLY REALLY SORE. He offered to try out some acupuncture on me free of charge.

Y'see, I've realized that a part of my left heel has remained numb since childbirth. Perhaps it was the result of the epidural, or the result of being swollen up like the Pillsbury Dough Boy from the waist down. It doesn't really bother me (as it is, well, NUMB), but then again, I begin to wonder if I should do something about it. Because it does send a sharp pain up my leg when I straighten my leg and then flex my heel. Very weird.

So this guy said he could fix my problem with acupuncture. Let me tell you, acupuncture did DIDDLYSKWAT for my heel, except cause me to scream in pain and get all tense again when he accidentally poked a blood vessel. I didn't feel the other three needles go in at all - just the one resting directly on the injured bit. NICE. Fortunately I had a foot massage after the acupuncture and so I was able to recover some of my relaxed state. And, well, I got a chance to check out acupuncture and learn that I won't be doing it again. A rather pricey experiment for being sore.

As for the heel, I discovered that I could stretch through the pain in baby yoga class. (that is, I felt it at first but then it gradually dissipated). A much cheaper solution to the numb heel problem.

Which brings me to baby yoga! I tried it with Susi for the first time this Wednesday. Now, baby yoga is not something that I would want to do as my only exercise in the week, but it was really quite fun doing some mild stretching, activating Susi, and watching her interact with the other babies. She LOVED it. It was a big, warm room, and even though she had managed to skirt all of her naps that day, she became wide awake, kicking and smiling, and staying up on her stomach for a really long time. She even rolled over onto her side in the big open space. Babies are naturals at yoga. It was great. Plus, it got me back into the weekly yoga trek to and from the studio, so if I keep this up I'll be assured to do more walking again.

The other big event was that it was Mary's first week as Susi's nanny. She is coming for 12 hours per week to watch Susi. This week was exhausting because I wanted to spend all the time with Mary making sure that I knew her and felt comfortable with her spending time alone with Susi.

During the few hours before Mary arrived, I found myself clinging to Susi - it was hard to put her down, because I knew I'd be handing her over to a stranger.. Well, it turns out that Mary is a kind, patient, gentle person who likes to sing, and by the end of yesterday, I felt like we had made a fabulous choice. In fact, it seems that Mary has more experience with babies than I do.. and she is currently taking a course at Penninsula U in Infant Development. Yesterday she, Susi, and I went on a very long walk and just got to know one another. On top of this, both K and I had had some time away from Susi, but knew that she was getting the undivided attention of another adult. It was very comforting, and I feel quite reassured that this was a very good decision for all of us. (err, except for the part where Mary was singing Britteny Speers music to her. Not so sure about THAT influence...)

Mary is also a certified lifeguard who has done some of her training with babies, and asked if we would be interested in her taking Susi to the pool. Not sure about that yet, but the concept excites me, given how much Susi likes water already. I think that I would want to go with them the first time...

Of course, at the same time that all of this was happening, I received an email from a friend / colleague at UBC with the following text, "Are you bored already? But your little one needs you!" The email proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't be going back to work already - that I am entitled to mat leave until September, and work will still be there when it is over.

This was a surprisingly hard text for me to swallow, especially from someone I viewed as a friend. My first reaction was kind of negative - as if this woman was judging me. In fact, I'm still not certain how appropriate her email is (especially given that I hadn't even asked for her opinion or advice.) But after some further thought, I've decided that it is also possible to take this as a supportive email. Even if the text came out wrong, she was trying to reassure me that it is okay to relax and spend time with Susi. I still felt a little resentful at my sense of obligation to explain what and why I was choosing my path. It's so strange, this sense of having to justify oneself. Anyway, it's all good. Susi is happy, and I am incredibly fortunate to have the resources to make the choices that I want for her at the moment.

Okay the morning has slipped away. Time for the next feeding.

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